A May we don’t recognize

So, is this really May? A two-month-long string of snow days? I’m not quite sure I recognize it. Normally, I greet May with a steely kind of preparedness wielding Field Day popsicles and last orchestra concert programs as weapons. I never imagined I’d greet it wearing a mask?

I used to declare my victory over the May calendar takeover only after I’ve remembered to sign all the forms, send in all the gifts and show up in all the places. It has always been a month of endings and beginnings; of being spun out with activity, and I’m not sure what to do with its emptiness this year. Maybe I’ll spend the time figuring out how to wear this mask and not have my glasses fog up? It is a frustrating problem.

The sudden stillness of our calendars in these last weeks has been strange. Many have written about how good it is that we have been forced to slow down and gather with our families and realize what’s important. And I don’t disagree. Although, I do wish it wasn’t a deadly virus teaching us this. But for all of the times I have lamented its busyness, I find myself wishing we didn’t have to cancel May.

This beginning/ending time of year has always been a bit dear to me. Its that time of year that steals your breath with the way it all went by so fast and makes you wish you could just stick some of these days in your pocket and hold them forever. And without a clear way to mark these endings and these beginnings, I wonder what to make of them. We will end a twelve-year run of elementary school without a last walk down the hall. We will step into a senior year of high school without the fanfare of last day junior parking lot cheers. And I know that many of you have had ceremonies canceled and life events postponed. So how do we walk through this quiet May? Is the Lord at work in any of this and what good will come of this canceled month?

“I am the Alpha and the Omega. The Beginning and the End.” These words from the very last book of the Bible come right into my head as I remember that God has a thing for beginnings and endings. He knows right where we are standing and how much we are struggling to navigate these strange days. He knows how our hearts are missing things and people and places. He knows that we are longing for some normal; that we wish we had known on that Friday in March that it would be the last time for so many things. And he speaks right into it all. “I AM the Alpha and the Omega. The Beginning and the Ending.”

You see, that verse. It does not say, “I am in the beginnings and in the endings.” He said –  I AM the Beginning. I AM the Ending. (Revelation 21:6). I AM the one that started it all and the one who ends it all. And I AM with you until the ends of the earth. I AM. Those are the Hebrew letters that form the very name of God. Yahweh. Immanuel. God with us – in the beginning and in the ending; in the sadness; in the missing; in the overwhelm. I AM. God. The beginning and the ending and all the middles that will follow. “The eternal God is your refuge and underneath are the everlasting arms” (Deuteronomy 33:27). Underneath this strange season we are walking through is the one that holds all things together. And He will never end or be canceled.

And so today, I want to leave with a song of hope; with a reminder that God is who He says He is no matter how upside-down the world might feel; no matter how sad or wrong or strange the days are. God is still with us, always. This is a song that was written for Christmas. But May is often compared to December in its craziness; so I think it still works.

I wrote the words to remind myself that God is often at work in dark places in ways we never even imagined. We can stare at the darkness and see nothing, or we can stare down the darkness and know that we are not alone.

So here’s some hope for your May. I pray it turns your eyes to Jesus and comforts you in the way that only He can. I’ll put the lyrics below followed by a video of The Georgia Festival Chorus performing it.

The song is called I AM – lyrics Leigh Sain / music, Chris Owenby

The prophets promised he would come;

Into this world they said he loved.

But years of darkness drowned all hope; until it was no longer heard.

The first words to break the silence; navigated through the night,

Do not be afraid.

I AM hope lighting this darkness;

I AM peace holding your pain;

I AM joy revealed in sorrow;

I AM love that will remain.

I AM faithful when you wander; I am with you when your weak;

I AM always there beside; I am everything you seek. I AM; I AM.

Can you see me in the darkness even when you feel alone?

I AM with you in the shadows; I am calling you my own.

A holy God born in a stable; your king cries helpless as a babe.

I could have come among you glorious, but it’s your hearts I came to save.

I could declare the heavens open light the world for all to see;

But a single star I place before you and a call to follow me.

I AM hope lighting this darkness

I AM peace holding your pain

I AM joy revealed in sorrow

I AM love that will remain

I AM faithful when you wander; I AM with you when your weak

I AM always there beside you; I AM everything you seek

I AM ; I AM

He is hope lighting our darkness, always. Here’s to a different kind of May, my friends. Praying you know the Lord’s presence with you as this month begins today.

Alleluia. Amen.