Driving through a storm

I remember it like it was yesterday. Heading out of town for the weekend in a car full of friends, mixed tapes, and snack food, we were bursting at the seams with laughter and luggage. It had begun to get dark, but we were college kids; invincible and unworried. We piled in and hit the road without so much as a glance at the sky.  And we never even saw it coming. That storm came at us out of nowhere.

One minute I could see whole lengths of the wide-open landscape and the next? Nothing. It was as if someone had pulled a dark curtain over the windshield. Rain pounded and wind pitched us in every direction. And for a moment, I forgot how to drive. I just froze. How did this happen? Where did this storm come from?

Everyone in the car seemed to realize my panic and began to scream directions at me. “Go left!” “Hold tight!” “Watch out!” “Turn on your lights!” “Look over there!” “Be careful!”

Ummm… yeah. Ok. I can do all of that, but the biggest problem here is this: I CANNOT SEE!

Trucks and cars zoomed around us at lightning speed. How are they doing that? What happened to the yellow lines? I can’t see where I am supposed to be going.

I slowed my speed to a crawl. Desperate for vision, I rolled down the window and stuck my head into the crushing weight of flying raindrops; hoping to gain a better perspective. And that’s when I finally saw it. The precious sight of those yellow lines on the road. I glued my eyes to those lines and just navigated the car like that for miles; face into the storm; eyes on the road ahead.

It’s been nearly 25 years since this incident, but I can still remember the way the stinging rain blinded me and the joyful relief that flooded over me when we finally made it to our destination, safely. Of course, this was back in the day when you had to pay a quarter to make a phone call and watch the 6 pm news to find out the weather. I guess we lived a lot of life unaware of what was coming.

It seems foreign to us now. One tap of our smartphones and we can determine the weather, traffic, distance, and anything else we might need to know about the road up ahead.

We rarely drive into surprise storms anymore.

Or at least that’s what I used to think. 2020 has changed my mind. I am pretty sure none of us expected the storm we are living through now. When the world closed on March 13th, we never thought we’d still be in chaos in by August. Even our smartphones can’t tell us how to navigate this pandemic and all of the normal it has stolen from us. No amount of technology can replace what our kids have lost with schools being closed and so much life canceled. It’s the storm that came out of nowhere, and it doesn’t seem to be leaving anytime soon. The relentless decisions just keep pounding us in the face.

And everyone seems to realize the panic as we all try to answer unanswerable questions.“Homeschool?” “Face to face learning?” “Take a year off?” “Don’t worry, they’ll catch up!” “Worry a lot; their brains are melting from lack of use!” “Take the time to relax and enjoy the break?” “Hire a tutor?” ... I can’t get my bearings. I have forgotten how to make decisions.

Ummm… Lord, I know that I should rely on you. I know that you are with us. I can quote all the verses full of your promises. So what’s going on?  Why can’t I just handle this?

I try to listen to all of the voices offering advice. But mostly it’s my own voice that echoes into the rain and the darkness of this strange year, “What if I am doing this all wrong?”

Like the panic that overtook me on that long ago stormy night, I feel the weight of navigating through this storm as if it is all up to me; and I can’t find any yellow lines that will lead me safely to the correct destination.

“Peace. Be still!” These words of Jesus make their way into my brain during a sleepless night. These are words that Jesus used to calm an actual storm. “Peace. Be still“. It had astounded the disciples, weary from fighting for their lives on a fishing boat trapped in violent wind and rain. But Jesus had looked right into the pitch of that storm and silenced it all.

Peace. Be still.

The words stay in my head because I know the story and all the lessons. Jesus can calm any storm. Put your eyes on him and he will bring you peace. And I know with every fiber of my being that this is true. But still, I struggle. What does this look like in real life?

Putting our eyes on Jesus can sound like a peaceful and quiet activity — and there are days when it is.

But then, there are years like this one.

Years full of days where putting your eyes on Jesus might look a lot like driving through a storm with your head out of the window; seeking a peace that is as evasive as those yellow lines.

The words of the Old Testament Prophets help me see it better. “Seek the Lord and live!” The prophet Amos, a shepherd from Tekoa, his name meaning, “The Lord Carries”, was sent by God to proclaim this to a lost generation of Israelites. This was no sweet and quiet bedtime prayer; it was more like a declaration of war. A call to come before the Lord in penitence and faith. God’s people were incessantly chasing wrong things and making awful decisions. Yet still, he sends a shepherd prophet full of words meant to carry them home. Seek the Lord and live!

Peace. Be Still.

But here’s the thing I’m learning. Sometimes the peace we are looking for can only be found in the persistent perseverance of seeking. You can only learn to drive through a storm by driving through a storm.

And sometimes it takes rolling the window down and allowing the storm to pound us in the face, in order to get the best view.

Seek the Lord; only him; not answers or solutions or ways to strong-arm things back to normal. No. Jesus. Here in the middle of it all. Seek. Him. When I finally quit trying to create perfection on my own and just come before my Maker, that’s when I see it. 

Like those yellow lines that I was sure had been washed away by the storm, Jesus’s presence with me realigns my heart and reminds me that he is still in charge.

Yeah. There are times when Jesus stops life’s storms with just a word. But there are also times when calls us to keep driving into the blinding rain; learning to keep our eyes glued on him. “Seek the Lord and live!” Peace right in the middle of the storm. 

Because the truth is this: there is never a time when we are asked to walk through a storm alone.

“And surely , I am with you always to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:20).