For the love of directions

My husband did not fall in love with me for my sense of direction. Or my ability to read maps. This became apparent the first time he told me to go west when making a turn. Left and right are hard enough, but west? I am pretty sure that part of God’s plan in bringing us together was to ensure I didn’t spend my entire life lost. But even after all these years of making wrong turns, I’m still not great at asking for direction help. I like to think I can figure out which way to go. But I really can’t. Just ask anyone who’s ever traveled with me.

My sense of direction has not improved over time. But technology has made it a bit easier. The little direction lady who lives in the map app on my phone is my constant companion, and her favorite thing to yell at me is, “Make a U-turn!” And when I ignore her persistent warnings, certain that I can figure it out, she finally gives up and says things like, “You will be unable to reach your destination if you continue in this direction.” What?

“No little map lady”, I always tell her, frantically searching the area for a familiar landmark, “You are so wrong! I will totally reach my destination going this way! I know things! I have lived here forever! I will get there this way!”

But then. Well, it turns out I can’t reach my destination headed in that direction. So, yeah. I have to turn around. Whatever. Directions are so overrated.

It is likely that I spend more time arguing with the very piece of technology created for navigating than I do listening to it. I can’t seem to follow the map because I am certain that I already I know the way.

And this is always a recipe for disaster.

Lately, life has presented itself in a series of decisions that need to be made. The days rush past me in their usual blur, and while I long for God to direct my path, I am not much for stopping to listen.

Maybe you know what I am talking about? Maybe you’ve done this too — stood in an uncertain place and wished that God would just tell you what to do next. But then the push and the pull of the day leaves you unable to be still and listen. So you just rush ahead certain that you can handle it all without the directions.

It’s not really a new problem or even one that is specific to our generation. The Bible is full of stories about the Israelites, God’s chosen people, and their inability to follow God’s directions. There are whole chapters about how they loved to pretend that they could do it on their own. Until, of course, they ran into seas they could not cross or armies they could not defeat.

And on this day dedicated to love, it is not the Israelites’ refusal to listen that gets my heart when I read these stories. I can totally relate to that. It is God’s refusal to give up on them that pushes air into my soul and stops me in my directional-less run. From the laws that he gave to Moses on Mt. Sinai to the prophets he sent to proclaim it in their city streets, he never stopped coming after them.

“O that their hearts would be inclined to fear me … so that it might go well with them…” (Deut. 5:29). “Return to me, declares The Lord Almighty, and I will return to you” (Zechariah 1:2).

God pursuing these holy, chosen, stubborn, arrogant people. These people who would sacrifice to golden calves, ignore his warnings and run far from him. Yet God would not let them go; they were his. What kind of love is that?

“How can I give up on you Ephraim? How can I hand you over Israel? For I am God and not man– The Holy One among you. I will not come in wrath. They will follow the Lord” (Hosea 11:8).

God’s passion for his people steals my breath.

But those are just stories, right? That’s not for us. We aren’t walking through desserts or fighting off foreign nations. We don’t need the cloud by day or the fire by night to lead us. We have map ladies in our phones. We know where we are going. And we know exactly how it is we are going to get there.

And then he whispers it quietly. Make. A. U-Turn. He speaks it right into my breathless race for success. Make. A. U-Turn.

But it’s so quiet I nearly miss it. I want clear and loud signs. I want to see the end of this before I step out into a beginning. I want the words on the page to tell me exactly where this is leading.

And the God of whole universe just whispers. Shouldn’t it be different? He is God, holy and fierce and capable of speaking in any way that he pleases. He spoke the earth into existence and breathed us into being. But he whispers?

He reaches down and touches our hearts quietly. He whispers. “Return to me and I will return to you” (Zechariah 1:2). “O that their hearts..” (Deut. 5:29).

It’s hard to listen to a whisper.

It’s hard to follow after a king who owns the world but who enters it on a dark night in a stable;a king who rides into his own holy city on the back of a donkey; a king who knocks to be allowed entrance into his own creation.

It is hard. But it is holy work. And it is worth it. Every moment of trying to hear him, every prayer said over hesitant steps, every time we pause to turn toward him.

Because the thing is? We are not forced to make that turn. We do not have to listen. We can keep charging ahead thinking that we can make it to our destination alone.

And it will not make him love us any less. He simply won’t stop coming for us.

“I have loved you with and ever lasting love; I have drawn you in with loving-kindness” (Jeremiah 31:3).

That kind of love brings me to my knees. I don’t want to get where I am going and realize I missed it along the way. The destination begins to matter less than the way I get there.

Because if I profess it to be true, then I need to learn how to live it. The Lord our God is with us. He is in the middle of our crazy days, our darkest moments, our big decisions, our cluttered calendars and our boring workdays. And, we can trust that he knows how to get us home, even if we have no idea which way is west.

Alleluia. Amen. And Happy Valentine’s Day, friends!

“The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with his holy love and rejoice over you with singing.” ( Zephaniah 3:17).