The things a mom knows

What is it like to be a mom? Tell me all the things you know. What should I learn so I can get this right? A friend, getting ready to begin her journey into motherhood, writes this to me. I’m fifteen years into this gig; so I guess she thinks I know some things. But. I can’t seem to find the words. I just send her this picture. It’s a lot like this, I write back. Every. Day. You just have to learn to embrace the crazy.

And that feels like good advice. But her question won’t stop spinning in my mind. What do I know about being a mom?

This honest answer keeps creeping into my thoughts.  I know nothing. And I hear it in the conversations with my friends as well. We talk about kids and life and whether we are parenting littles, teenagers or grown-ups, we all speak of these overwhelming and unknowable seasons; about feeling like we’ve done it all wrong. I’m doing my best to get it right, we all say, but I just don’t know.

Because the thing about being a mom? Well, you’re never quite sure what right looks like.

And sometimes in the endless cycle of trying to keep up, we moms forget. Not only do we forget what we walked into the grocery store to buy or which kid is supposed to go to the orthodontist when (am I the only mom who forgets these things?). But, in our quest to get it right, we often forget what we do know.

And the truth is, whether you are a mom or not, when you start to forget what you know you tend to get lost.

What do I know? And does any of it matter? These questions force me to answer them. So this list is for anyone who is a mom, or who has a mom or who knows a mom. Perhaps we all know more than we think we do.

These are the things I know about being a mom:

I know that getting out of the house will always take longer than I think it will.

I know that before the sun goes down someone will track mud into the kitchen.I know that a shoe will go missing before breakfast, someone will have a meltdown if the word errands is mentioned and everyone will need a granola bar to make it until lunchtime.

I know that deodorant is necessary for every boy, coats are not worth the argument it takes to get them on and bedtimes are non-negotiable.

I know how many minutes each kid has logged on video games  (too many) and that sunshine makes a happier child. I know who stole the treats from the fridge, and who forgot to do the dishes. I know how to settle an argument with my voice, do three things at once and remember to act like I have a clue whose turn it is to ride in the front seat.

I know that even my tall kids need hugs, that laughter can save a terrible day and that most of the time everyone will be nicer after a nap. I know that nothing fills my heart more than seeing my kids succeed at hard things and nothing breaks me faster than watching my people struggle.

I know that life happens in seasons and some of them are so much more difficult than others. And I know that holding onto each other is how we are meant to weather the storms. I know that God created my kids, that he loves them and has great plans for them. But, I know that sometimes for those plans to unfold, I have to let go.

I know that we are all stronger than we think, braver than we realize and often need help to see God’s work in our lives.

I know that every day there will be a million little decisions pulling at the hem of my sanity and many of them will continue to hang there without answers.

I know the value of friends who pray for me when I have no words and the healing power of tears shed in their presence. I know I wasn’t made to walk this road alone.

I know the humbling blessing of drawing near to the One who is the “knower of our hearts”  and admitting I have no idea what’s next.

You see, here’s the thing. God reminds me daily that he knows it all so I don’t have to.

Knowing nothing is part of the job;  the hardest part. And you don’t have to be a mom to get this.

We are all called to be people who live open-handed; people who live by faith; dependent each day on the provision of our Father. Because we don’t know what lies ahead. We can’t see around the next bend or over the next hill. We just have to love with everything we’ve got and run the race that God has placed before us; as a mom, a daughter, a wife,  a friend, an image bearer. We aren’t called to know all the things.

So Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms out there. May we learn how to hold fast to what we do know and walk bravely into what we don’t. And may we remember that the Lord promised, I will never leave you or forsake you. He’s gonna go with us and he’s gonna go with our kids. And really, that’s the only thing we need to know.