What do you love?

“What do you love the most of anything?” my youngest is shivering in the early evening summer shadows. Swimming pool wet and popsicle mustached, he pulls his towel close and this question pops right out. He doesn’t wait for me to answer. This kid talks as fast as he thinks. “I love the pool and cannonballs the most of anything.” He’s dancing around trying to get warm as one of his brothers shoots a water gun his direction.

“You love this pool more than mom?” a brother questions. “That’s crazy!”

The little one looks concerned and draws in close; chattering teeth and dripping wet little body right next to mine. Chlorine, sunscreen and cherry popsicle all mingle together in the air as he leans in to kiss me. “I love you most too. It’s just I can’t do a cannonball onto you. And cannonballs are awesome!”

So, we are just a few days into summer and apparently I rank right up there with the pool as things my 7 year old loves “the most of anything”. I’ll just consider that a victory for today!

His question makes me smile. I mean, there is a lot to love about this season. The day is fading into evening and I have no idea what time it is or what we will eat once I finally wrangle my soaking wet crowd back home. But no one really seems to care. There is laughter, sunshine, friends, cannonballs and popsicles. And it seems right. As if there could be a bit of truth in this old quote I love, “And all shall be well, all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well” (Julian of Norwhich).

“What do I love the most of anything?” What about you? What do you love the most of anything?

If you are like me, it is the faces of your people that scroll through your mind and top your list. And probably some places, too, right? Those places that get in your blood and claim sacred space in your hearts. Places you love for the way being in them makes you different.

For a moment, I let the people and the places all write themselves into a lovely litany of “ the things I love the most of anything”. The kids jump and laugh, and I inhale the summer wind that wraps around the tall leaning of our old Georgia pines. But then suddenly another question surfaces in my heart.

“Do you love me more than these?” (John 21:15)

What? Where did that come from? I was happy thinking about all that I love the most of anything. It was an excellent list I had going.

“Do you love me more than these?” (John 21:15)

It is the question that the resurrected Jesus asked Peter as they stood on the beach of the Sea of Galilee. The disciples were all there, hauling in this net bursting full of fish — 153 fish, to be exact and marveling at Jesus’ knack for knowing where the fish were. Breakfast had been cooked and eaten and everyone was settling back around their Jesus. “All manner of things was well”, blessings overflowing, the sweetness of life catching in the wind. That question seems to come out of nowhere right at Peter.

Sorta like it comes out of nowhere right at me, lost in my thoughts of all that I love. I don’t really want to answer that question. Maybe Peter felt that way, too?

Peter had been the first one to leap out of the boat and run towards Jesus. He must have stood grateful and amazed at all that his eyes were taking in that morning on the beach. I am sure he loved it the most of anything — the way it felt to stand in that place.

But Jesus doesn’t ask him if he’s grateful. Jesus doesn’t even ask him to say thank you. He looks him square in the eye and he asks, “Do you love me more than these?” (John 21:15).

More than these blessings, more than these people I have given you, more than these beautiful places I have shown you, more than all of the 153 fish I have placed into your bursting net. Do you love me more?

It comes off the page of scripture, the way that I know Jesus asks it of me, too. And the answering of it makes me squirm. Life is good here on the shores of summer. My own net is so full of all that I love the most of anything. And I am grateful. So grateful. But that net and those 153 fish; what if they have all of my heart?

I hold tight to edge of my full net,  “Do you love me more than these?”  And, I feel the weight of the answer.

I insist, like Peter, “Yes Lord, you know that I love you” (John 21:15). But Jesus keeps asking.  He asked Peter 3 times there on that beach with the coals still warm from the miraculous catch breakfast. He asks three times because it matters.

“Do you love me more than these?” (John 21:15).

What we love the most of anything is what has our hearts. And hearts are fragile things.

Jesus asks because he knows that life is not a lovely summer day all the time. The good stuff, no matter how good it is, doesn’t always last. Our nets are full of fish one minute and empty the next.

Life is like that. And he knows it.  Saying, “all shall be well” is easy when you are full and satisfied and the nets keep returning brimming with fish.

But what about when they come up empty? What will you love then?

“Do you love me more than these?”

That question isn’t meant to discount the beauty of the blessings that he gives us. Maybe that question is Jesus reminding us like this:

 It is okay. Love your people. Love the places I have sent you. Love it all. Enjoy it all. Live in the sweetness  of the life I have given you. But love me more. The question matters.

Do you love me more than these? Answer slowly. Look long at the blessings that fill your life, but then turn and see me.  I made you. I know you. And I love you the most of anything. Now go on, answer the question.

” I (The Lord) have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you in with loving-kindness. I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt, O Virgin Israel. Again you will take up your tambourines and go out and dance with the joyful” Jeremiah 31:3-4